It has been often said that the nearest five people you are closest with are the people that you become most like. One place where this is most true is in college. Human beings are “social amoebas” that can’t help but absorb personality traits from the people we interact with the most. I have seen this pattern in other people I know, and have also seen it in myself.

One of the first people I met at Farmingdale was a girl named “Evelyn” (names changed for privacy), a sophomore student. We got along well, and at the time we shared the same circle of friends. The more we hung out together, the more I noticed how studious she was.

One morning we were at Greenley Library together. I had already been there to work on an assignment while she had just arrived to do some work. As I lollygagged on Facebook, from the corner of my eye I watched Evelyn furiously tap out a long written assignment in about 30 minutes time. She didn’t visit any other sites or let herself be distracted at all during this time. Her work ethic was amazing! She was already done and on to her next class while I had barely even started.

From then on, I tried to spend as much time as possible with her in order to somehow absorb her good habits and apply them to my own life. Unfortunately, we had different majors of study, so I didn’t see her very often. Still, she made an unforgettable impression on me, and made me realize that there were plenty of moments where I could be using my time much better.

Another good friend I made was Daniel. We first met when I heard him playing his guitar down the hall next to my room in Dewey Hall. I walked in and introduced myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meeting Daniel was like getting to know the brother I never had. We had nearly the exact same tastes in video-games, creative pursuits, music, and other hobbies. Later on I found myself reading some of his guitar books. This led to me asking him if I could borrow his guitar while he was away. He inspired to attempt to play some cool grooves of my own.

On our off time, we played video games together competitively, and I was usually the winner of most of our matches. This caused him to up his own game. He practiced more and more so he could become good enough to defeat me, which he proceed to do more often.

At our last meeting, before I left for my trip to Thailand, we had one last match, in which he kicked my behind multiple times.

“You’re the reason why I got so good,” I remember him saying. “I wouldn’t have kept playing if it wasn’t for you.”

I felt the same way. Throughout our friendship, our encouragement of each others skills slowly went beyond games. We began helping each other out in other ways, like waking each other up for our morning class, and working on assignments together. We had influenced each others lives without realizing it, and we became better students because of it.

Here’s my final example of social influence. During my senior year I shared a dormitory at Orchard Hall with five other students. One of my neighbors was Stan, an avid gym goer with a body to prove it. As we became friends, I started coming along to the nearest Planet Fitness gym with him. I came with him a few times a week, and it was much more fun than going alone. During Hurricane Sandy, when multiple locations around the area were suffering from electrical outages, the gym that we always went to was affected as well. So me, Stan, and another roommate of ours piled into Stan’s car and rode to another spot to get our “swole” on.

I gained positive personality traits from each of my friends. With Evelyn, I became more aware of my work habits. With Daniel, I was inspired to try guitar. And with Stan, I paid more attention to my physical health. These subtle changes in my personality didn’t become apparent to me until months later.

College is a great time to meet fellow colleagues who can shape your life in ways you’ve never imagined. If you find the right people to influence you, you will magically grow into a better person.